How to Handle Grief during the Holidays

The holiday season can be particularly challenging for those who are grieving. Grief does not always pertain to the death of a loved one. You may be grieving a recent transition or life change like divorce, job loss, or other unexpected or undesired events. You may be grieving dreams that you have been longing for that have yet to be fulfilled. You may be grieving the current state of your family and personal relationships. Because this time of year often emphasizes togetherness and celebration, the sorrow and loneliness of grieving from tragic loss, unwanted change, and broken and deferred hopes can feel overwhelming.

If this resonates with you, here are some tips that may help you navigate through this holiday season.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings:

   • It's okay to feel a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, or even moments of joy. Allow yourself to experience and express these feelings without judgment. Do not be afraid of sadness. Sadness about something or someone lost means that there was something valuable or good about what was lost. Acknowledging sadness honors what is no longer present. Give yourself permission to feel all the feelings. Doing so does not mean that you will be stuck in an unpleasant emotion forever. On the contrary, it will help you move forward faster than if you refuse to process it. Journaling can be a great way to check in with how you are doing. If you need help journaling, you can download my free 1-page journal template here.

2. Plan Ahead:

   • Anticipate challenging moments and plan how you'll handle them. This might involve deciding which events to attend, creating an exit plan if needed, or opting for a low-key celebration. Plan ahead, but allow yourself flexibility on any given day. You cannot always fully anticipate how you will feel and what you will need, and that is okay. Check in with yourself on a daily basis and adjust plans if necessary.

3. Communicate Your Needs:

   • Let your friends and family know what you're comfortable with and what support you might need. When you are hurting, you may wish others would automatically know your needs and how to help, but they are not mind readers. People often want to help, but do not know the best way to support you in this situation. It’s beneficial let take control and let others know how they can help.

4. Memorialize and Honor:

   • If you are grieving the loss of a loved one, find meaningful ways to remember and honor them during the holidays. This could be through carrying on their favorite tradition, placing a special ornament on the tree, and sharing favorite memories with friends and family.

5. Modify Old Traditions and Create New Ones:

   • Consider creating new holiday traditions that align with your current circumstances or modifying existing ones to make them more manageable. Especially for recent life transitions, creating a new tradition can help mark a new season in a positive way. It helps shift from focusing solely on what has been lost to cultivating hope for what is yet to come.

6. Set Boundaries:

   • It's okay to set boundaries by saying no to certain events and activities if they feel too overwhelming. Your well-being is important. Give yourself permission to address your needs this year.

7. Seek Support:

   • Connect with others who are also experiencing grief. Support groups, counseling, or talking with friends and family who understand can be beneficial in the grieving process.

8. Take Care of Yourself:

   • Pay attention to your physical and emotional well-being. Get enough rest, eat healthily, and engage in activities that bring you comfort and relaxation.

9. Go to Therapy:

   • You are not supposed to know how to grieve on your own. A therapist or counselor has been trained to help you navigate this challenging time. Don’t be afraid to reach out for professional help, and don’t put it off until the new year if you know you need it. If you are located within the states of Colorado or Arizona, the therapists at Clarity Christian Counseling can help you. Schedule a complimentary consultation call today by completing the form here to get started.

10. Invite God into your grieving process:

    • In John 35:11, it says that “Jesus wept” when he arrives at the burial site of Lazarus. God is not afraid of or against the grieving process, and he is grieving alongside you. He promises comfort to those who mourn (Matthew 5: 4). Take time to intentionally invite God into this holiday season, to comfort you and to carry you.

Everyone grieves differently. Grieving is a process that comes in waves. You may feel perfectly fine one day and feel like you have been hit by a truck the next moment. That is normal. Be a gentle observer of yourself as you go through this process. Reach out for help when you need it. It will not feel like this forever.

I am here to support you however I can during this time. I offer telehealth and phone sessions as well as in-person sessions located in the Briargate neighborhood in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Dr. Julie Edwards provides telehealth services to clients located within the states of Arizona. New prospective clients can complete the form here or text Kimberly 818-493-1655 to request a complimentary phone consultation.