Want More Peace? The Importance of Practicing Stillness
At the end of every year, my caseload tends to slow quite a bit as clients take time off for holiday plans and travel. As a person who thrives on productivity, the slow down can feel a little unwanted and uncomfortable, yet it allows me to take time to reflect on the past year and start to look towards the next one. I like to take time to think about what has happened in the previous year, what I can celebrate and what I might be mourning. I also take time to pray into what God has for me in the upcoming year. During my quiet time with the Lord, I felt him highlighting the importance of the practice of stillness.
So many of us express a desire for more peace, to have a chance to slow down, and to be able to be more fully present and rested. Even if you are someone who thrives on fast-paced environments and don’t really want to sit still, you probably still desire to have a sense of peace in your life.
Yet as you probably realize, just saying you want peace does not make it a reality. Similarly, if you wanted to grow your own vegetables, just saying, “I’m really hoping and believing that 2024 brings me a vegetable garden”, is not going to magically result in a garden appearing in your backyard. You’re going to need to take some action steps in order to create space to grow your vegetables. In the same way, you need to create space and cultivate peace if you want to see it in your life. One way I’ve found to do this is through the practice of stillness.
Understanding Stillness
Stillness means rest. Taking time to pause. To be quiet. To be present. To take a break from the endless to-do lists. To stop zoning out or getting sucked in to mindless scrolling on your phone or the continuous streaming of reality shows on your tv. Stillness allows us to reconnect with ourselves, with God, and with our surroundings in the present moment.
Stillness can feel uncomfortable. You might find yourself thinking, “I don’t have time for that. There’s too much to do. That is just going to slow me down.” You may find yourself feeling the need to delay stillness until you have finished all the things that need to be done. But the truth is, taking time for stillness will actually lead to increased efficiency and productivity. When the time comes to pick up the pace again, the practice of stillness will help you operate at higher speeds at a healthy level, rather than a rate that’s going to cause you to crash and burn.
Stillness is not stagnation. Stagnation implies stuckness or an unhealthy lack of growth or movement. When I hear the word stagnant, I think of murky, brown, mosquito-infested water. It’s not a beautiful image. Many of us have trouble pausing or practicing stillness, because we are afraid that it means we’ll get stuck. That we’ll never be able move forward. This is just simply not true. Taking a break does not mean you’re quitting. It means you’re taking a break.
Stillness is not laziness. Similarly to the fear of getting stuck, many of us fear that resting or being still means we are lazy, especially when there is still work to be done. Let’s take time to challenge this way of thinking. A lazy person is someone who undervalues work and therefore are disinclined to do it. In my experience, nearly all of the people that I encounter who afraid that taking time to be still means that they are lazy have a very high value for work. Their value for doing hard work is why taking time to pause is so difficult for them. Take time to assess for any inaccurate beliefs you may be operating in. If you struggle to practice stillness because you do not want to be lazy, ask yourself if you value hard work. You can have a value for both hard work and rest. Both are needed.
Stillness is checking in, not checking out. Have you ever found yourself lying like a log on your couch, feeling unmotivated to do anything that requires more effort or energy than staring at the tv screen or your phone? It’s all you want to do, yet at the same time, it’s not restoring your energy levels. This type of inactivity is a form of numbing or escape rather than healthy rest. The practice of stillness requires a level of engagement, in which we allow ourselves to become aware of the present moment. Noticing how we are feeling physically, emotionally, and spiritually rather than simply tuning out is a key aspect of stillness.
What exactly are you supposed to do when you are being still?
Perhaps you’re convinced that incorporating more stillness in your life is a good idea, but you may be unsure what exactly that looks like. If you’re not supposed to be zoning out or on your phone scrolling when you’re being still, what exactly are you supposed to be doing? Where should your focus be during your time of stillness? The following three categories may be helpful to consider.
Observe yourself. As you take time to pause, notice how you are feeling in this current moment. I like to do what I call a heart, mind and body check in. I take time to notice how my heart or spirit is feeling. Is it heavy? Is it light and joyful? Next, I check in with my mind. Is my mind at ease, or does it feel like a swirl of racing thoughts? Is there something I am worrying about? I then take time to check in with how my physical body is feeling. Am I stiff and tired? Do I have any areas of tightness or tension that I’m experiencing? Often, simply observing what state I’m in will increase a sense of peace and calm. It can also be very beneficial in helping with identifying any needs you might need to address later in the day that will help you feel more refreshed and restored.
Check in with God. I always find it helpful to take a moment and intentionally invite God in to my time of stillness. Yes, he’s always with me, but there’s something about turning my attention to him and letting him know I want him to be there that changes things. Take time during your stillness to pray. You can tell him how you’re feeling, make requests and give him praise. I also encourage you to actively ask the Holy Spirit what he has for you during this time of stillness. Be sure to take time to listen to what God might be saying during this time.
Notice your surroundings. No matter where you are, taking time to really look at what is in front of you will increase a sense of peace and calm. I like to observe the sunrise, notice the different cars passing by my window, and appreciate the dogs that my neighbors are walking outside. I might bring my attention to my cup of coffee, appreciate the warmth of my mug and the delightful taste as I sip the delicious beverage.
Practicing stillness really means practicing being present, whether that be with yourself, with God, and with your external surroundings.
How to set yourself up for success to practice stillness:
Make time for it. It doesn’t have to be a lot of time. Even pausing for 60 seconds between work meetings or phone calls is an opportunity for stillness. Five minutes during a lunch break or waking up 15 minutes earlier in the morning to take time to stop and tune in will have benefits. But I’d encourage you to not be stingy with your time in this area. Carve out enough time in your schedule to be able to fully benefit from adding this practice in to your life. There may be days where you have to adjust, but make a commitment to prioritize time for rest in your life.
Create a space for it and eliminate distractions. Honestly, you can practice stillness anywhere. You can be sitting in a busy coffee shop and take two minutes to internally check in and take a deep breath to release any tension you might be carrying. But if you really want to get the benefits of practicing stillness, it’s important to have access to physical space where practicing stillness is as easy as possible. Maybe it’s a cozy chair by the window in your living room. Perhaps it’s on your back patio. You might enjoy practicing stillness inside your car parked at a scenic overlook. Choose a space that can be as distraction-free and calming as possible. Get rid of distractions. I have to leave my phone in another room so I don’t subconsciously keep picking it up to scroll. You may have to put pets in another room and let other people in your household know that you’re unavailable for now. Give yourself the permission to be away from your other responsibilities for the amount of time you have set aside for stillness.
Practice it regularly. Stillness is something that needs to be done regularly. You cannot just do it once a expect it to get you through the rest of the month. Like eating a meal, we have to do it frequently enough in order to continue to have energy. I can’t just eat a good breakfast and think that my caloric needs are taken care of for 2024. Make a commitment to treat the practice of stillness as part of maintaining a healthy mind, body and spirit.
With the passing of the holiday season, the routine and regularity of normal life starts to resume. It can be tempting to fall back into the same patterns of busyness and chaos of previous years. But it does not have to be the same. Be intentional about incorporating stillness as part of your regular routine. When you make room for stillness and take steps to practice it, you will see the fruit of it grow. You will feel less stressed and more at peace, experience greater clarity of mind, and increased energy and motivation.
About the author: Kimberly Kruse is a licensed therapist. She is the owner of Clarity Christian Counseling, which serves clients virtually in the states of Arizona and Colorado, as well as provides in-person counseling services in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Kimberly is passionate about improving mental health in tweens, teens, adult women and entrepreneurs.
If you are looking for a Christian therapist, contact us today to schedule your complimentary 15-minute consultation.